This is a blog of honesty. I don’t know why…it just happened that way. Somehow, this site became a way for me to pretend I’m not prideful by admitting mistakes that I know others will not hold against me because they find them humourous. (Ooh. That’s the honesty I’m talking about. I probably shouldn’t write stuff like that.) However, at the same time, I think laughing at oneself is a good motif to get into. It keeps us musicians from having that ever-intriguing inflated view of ourselves, who (let’s face it) think that we literally changed the world last weekend with our Gilmour-esque solo, or our Brian Eno synth run, or our ‘Spirit-inspired’ chorus repeat. (Sorry guys, the honesty is just happening today. I understand that God ‘told’ you to run ‘How Great is our God’ into ‘How Great Thou Art’ because it’s edgy and post-modern to rockify a hymn even though you heard Tomlin do it on a live recording six years ago…it’s cool, you’re still post-modern in my book…and then He ‘told’ you to move into minor chords (even though they don’t really work) while you tag the ‘how great Thou art’ line exactly 23 times. Even if your congregation doesn’t understand that God ‘told’ you to do that……I do. I gotcha. I’m right there in it with ya. He ‘told’ me the same thing…even though in the back of my mind, I was thinking that there were only 2 hands raised, and if I were to get the ‘worship was kind of mediocre’ talk at staff meeting this week, I’d need to see at least 9.5 hands up (the quick hand sway at chest level counts as the .5) to make my argument that no, worship was actually, in fact, both monumental and life-changing. Hence, we sing the chorus again.) So this is to keep me humble. And I really, really hope you can find at least a little piece of yourself in the above paragraph to chuckle about. It’s not meant to stir up feelings of bitterness because ‘the church’ and ‘worship leaders’ aren’t perfect. (Shocker.) Once we get over the fact that we’re just a bunch of losers doing the blasted best we can to be used by God, but that at least half the time we fail, and God somehow accomplishes His purpose anyway, picks us up, and tells us to try again to jump on board with Him again tomorrow……I think then, the more God can use us. And taking ourselves just a bit less seriously, might be a good motif. As it is also fun……
- I plugged in my direct box during practice even though I knew it would pop and even though I get angry at my team when they do this. But our sound guy was so far away and I needed to save my voice instead of yelling back to ask him to mute the channel…
- I tuned my guitar to drop D for the last song of the first set, and then forgot about that while playing the last set……four times……and the last set is just 1 song.
- I forgot that my team is a bunch of volunteers doing their best to serve, and I got quite noticeably frustrated and indignant during practice that the sound of the band was not what I wanted it to be.
- I typed different lyrics on the song sheet than I did on the background screens, realized it, and then sang the words on the screen and totally hung our background vocalist out to dry.
- I chose to get the right tone out of a pedal…for 15 minutes…rather than listen to my team.
- When I finally did listen, I was still thinking about my pedal.
- I got off the click track, but then quickly found something else wrong with the song so that we had to stop it and start over, so as not to admit that I was the reason we needed to start over.
- I missed a lighting cue while looking for a Landgraff on Gear Page in the tech boothe.
- I strummed my acoustic like an electric, hitting the big D chord, and then rocking the guitar around for ‘sustain’; and completely succeeding in looking like ‘I really wish I was a rockstar, but I guess the church will have to do for now.’
- I pretended not to hear an idea from our drummer, and then five minutes later ‘amazingly’ came up with the same idea.
- I borrowed a friend’s Taylor acoustic to play. It sounded fantastic. That’s not the bad part. The bad part is that I literally asked someone 4 years ago to shoot me in the eye if I ever played ‘the worship leader guitar.’ I’m glad he had the weekend off. No, I don’t think he literally would have shot my eye out (hehe, good movie), but I would’ve had to eat some serious crow (such an odd phrase) when I told him that I quite enjoyed the sound of the ‘sellout’ guitar.
- Some people in the congregation didn’t seem into worship, and my literal first thought was that I might need to switch to EA cables from Lava.
And there you have it. I am not…how do you say it…oh ya!……not good. However, I do feel much more humble now, and of course, the true test of being really humble is when you know you are.