I don’t have a doorbell. I live in an apartment. I chose gear instead of a house. I figure, I have plenty of time to get a house. But that original version Damage Control Timeline (I’m pretty sure there’s only one version, but if you say ‘original version’, you’re technically not wrong, and it sounds way cooler); now the auction for that was ending in like, two days. You do the math. Gear. So then, why is this post called something about a doorbell? Well, my wife was just listening to that White Stripes song, and it’s like the catchiest ever, and this is a post about what I’ve been thinking lately. It is very difficult to sift through my head sometimes. And as difficulty tends to not be easy, and I tend to like easy things, I just don’t sift. But then I had the problem of having no title for this post. So then I listened to the appalling catchiness coming from my wife’s computer speakers, and hence, ‘I Been Thinkin’ About My Doorbell.’ Not much sense to be had, I get it. But then again, let’s be honest; do you actually come to this blog because I ever make sense? Ya. Guessing no on that one. So here’s what I’ve been thinking:

  • Strymon is coming out with a new delay. I do not need another delay. I want it.
  • Edge is about six hours away from me at this very moment. Mmmmm. (I apologize if the ‘mmmmm’ frightens you, but, it’s kind of the only sound the human body is capable of making when lathered in the lovely droves of delay, Edge’s melodic mind, and about 7 amps, including 2 1960′s AC30′s. So, my apologies, but……mmmmmmmm.)
  • Jack White is really good!
  • The other night I was old. Some kids wanted to sell me something at the ‘insane’ hour of about 8:30 PM (I know), and I wished I had a doorbell, because they were pounding on our apartment door. I griped for a while. And then another while (what in the world is a ‘while’?). And then I realized that at 25, I have become old. What happens when I’m 85?
  • Meg White? Ya…not so much. (That’s probably horrible to say, and I’m sure you’re a lovely person…but those drums…)
  • I went outside tonight to see if I could hear Edge’s guitar from Phoenix. I have this theory that his tone is so real, integral, and uncompromised, that it will actually be able to travel from Phoenix to here, because the sound waves are so steady, and ringing at the exact right frequency, so as to cut through the ‘mix of life.’ (I’ve put my whole theory on this into documentation, complete with the mathematical equations, algorithms, and of course accounting for the amount of delay on his guitar; except without the equations, algorithms, or documentation. But I did account for the delay!) I am almost positive that I could hear his tone. It was a little hard to tell, though, if it was his tone from Phoenix, or his tone from my ipod dock playing U2. (Hey, ‘Breathe’ was playing, and I couldn’t turn it off right before the solo! Psshh. Come on! ……Hmmm, ‘psshh’ doesn’t seem to work right when written. Or maybe even said.)
  • I wish I was John Williams.
  • Fedex is the worst.
  • I’ve fallen into the habit of subtly ‘promoting myself’ in general conversation. You know, steering the conversation towards things I’ve done, and towards my self-inflated and quite actually non-existent pedigree. Nasty and gross habit.
  • I love bass players. I’ve said it before, but us electric guitar players cannot do anything without you guys anchoring the harmonic structure.
  • Okay, this is not a joke. As I’m writing this, my wife is watching a youtube clip of Judy Garland as a little girl in some movie, singing to a picture of her ‘hero’, Clark Gable, ‘You Made Me Love You.’ And my wife just leaned over to me and said, ‘Is that how you sing to your picture of Edge, when I’m not around? ‘You made me love you!” This happened about 19 seconds ago. That is not made up.
  • There is a lot to do in this world. And I waste a lot of time.
  • Change your tubes.
  • Is it bad when you find yourself not paying attention to the message, because you’re gazing past the pastor, lovingly at the lights on your amp on stage, and then you can’t remember for how long that’s been going on?
  • I used to sing a song in Sunday School that just said, ‘Read your Bible, pray every day.’ And for all the ‘deep spiritual concepts’ and ‘contextual-Biblical-armenian-free-will-determinism-leadership-what-not’ that I feel I’ve learned about, it’s almost always the simple stuff I learned in Sunday school that makes the most real world difference.
  • I can’t imagine life without music.
  • When people comment on how big my pedalboard is, I usually pass it off with some joke about how most of the pedals are not even plugged in, but I just keep them on the board to look cool. I just looked at my pedalboard while typing this (and yes…there was all the tenderness in that look that you’re afraid there was), and realized that I actually do have a pedal on my board that has not been plugged in for about a month. But it does look really, really cool right there!

Splendid.
Karl.