• ‘Less is more.’
  • ‘Hey, can you just hold a pad through this whole song?’
  • ‘No fills, just four on the floor.’
  • ‘No noodling!’
  • ‘If you’re not Eddie Van Halen, then play a chord.’
  • ‘Find the spots where not to play.’
  • ‘Listen to the silence.’
  • ‘There’s 6 of us on stage, that means we all have to play 82% less.’

If you hate these phrases (and don’t tell me you don’t, because I know some of you do…with like, the passion of acting sensation Mark Hamill after his father cuts his hand off…someone says ‘Hey, I think your solo might be a little distracting’ and you feel this urge to contort your face into a pole and scream, ‘That’s not true! That’s impossible!’ in such a way that we can barely understand what you’re saying…and I only mention that so I can segway into the second best video ever at the bottom of this post…first best is coming right now), then you are going to love me. I have found a way to spice up those boring pads, anti-solos, 4/4 straight beats, and bass lines that have been specifically notated as not going for a walk by worship leaders, band leaders, and lead singers (oh, those lead singers. ;) ). Thanks to my new favorite drummer, we can all now play minimalistically, but still stretch ourselves as musicians. I give you, the best thing I have seen since the Steven Seagal emotion chart:

You cannot look me in the eye and tell me that guy is not your hero. And that video is courtesy of my lovely wife.

And since I promised (well, or gave a horribly poor parenthetical conversation with myself about Star Wars simply in order to show this splendor):

Oh ya, and if you haven’t ever seen the Steven Seagal emotion chart…here ya go. I’ve showed it before, but it never gets old: