All the…Small Things
Just got that excruciatingly catchy song stuck in every one of your heads for the rest of the day. That song is proof that there is such a thing as ‘too catchy of a melody.’ And you’re welcome.
I have taken a week or so to ignore this blog and most all of technology. And contrary to popular belief, if you do not touch your iPhone, laptop, bigger iPhone that can’t call people, or iPod (did you know you can text from those things?!), and actually look out your window to see if it is raining rather than hit F12 to see if your dashboard widget tells you it’s raining, the universe does not implode. If you don’t post the thing that you’re doing on facebook, you can still do that thing! This is getting crazy, I know…but it’s actually true. With all the rain we’ve been getting here (and ‘all the rain’ in Southern California translates to ‘we got a little mist’ everywhere else in the US), the power has gone out a few times (I know, water falls from the sky and the entire Los Angeles infrastructure collapses), and the most amazing thing happened. With no tv and no computers, I found the craziest form of entertainment. It has this new-fangled technology where the battery never runs out, you never have to plug it in, and the backlight works off of the scientific principle of friction and natural heat. Yep. It’s called a book and a candle. Seriously, absolutely amazing technology. The power could be out for days and weeks; nay, even years; and you know what? The book would still work. And actually, this isn’t at all where I was going with this, but the talk of rain did remind me of a little Conan sketch from last year; and lo and behold, it’s on youtube! Mmm…technology. I mean, books are awesome.
hehehe For those of you who don’t live in Southern California, it’s actually really, really scary how close that video is to being true. There’s breaking news stories constantly, taglines like ‘December Deluge’ on every news show and newspaper who all think they’re the only ones to have come up with the phrase, and there’s mad runs on Costco for bulk items for people’s newly dug bomb shelters. It is quite awesome to watch. But anyway, with all that just sitting back and enjoying life, I’ve been quite happily absent from technology and hence this site, for a while. So I’d figure I’d wrap up all the…small things…that have been going on. (hehe Stuck in your head again.)
- My Timeline finally came back from Strymon yesterday. I haven’t plugged it in yet. But I won’t say whether it’s sitting on a custom made Timeline stage with soft Ingrid Bergman lighting on it or not.
- I fixed my Loop-Master. I plugged it in and it worked. Which means that either I mixed up the cables plugging in my two pedalboards a couple weeks ago, or that the Loop-Master re-soldered itself. I’m going with the ‘soldered itself’ one.
- It is also amazing that rather than check connections, my first impulse is to pull apart my board and completely rewire it. It’s as if subconsciously, that’s what I really want to do. I’m blaming the fever.
- ‘X’ is a Greek abbreviation for ‘Christ.’ The clerk cannot wish you a merry Christmas while they are on the clock because the company policy is to not get sued; but wish it to them and they can wish it to you back. Yes, consumerism is bad, but we Christians do push for family values the other 11 months of the year, so maybe we should back off a bit when the mall is full and realize that at any other time of the year, we’d be overjoyed to see a parent buying gifts for their kid instead of a check postmarked from their office building. I heard Taylor Swift’s voice singing that ‘Christ the Savior is born’ over the loudspeakers to thousands of people in the mall. Overall? I’d say Christmas is a win. You know when Christmas gets to be a loss? When the ones who are supposed to be celebrating the most instead get all bitter, and have that bitterness be the overarching emotion in their churches at the one time of year the rest of the world actually enters said churches. Are there things that can be improved upon about culture’s current celebration of Christmas? Of course. But not at the expense of love for our fellow man. Proverbs talks about love covering a multitude of sins. Which, incidentally, is what we’re celebrating with the birth of Jesus. I’m going to guess that Jesus would ask us to celebrate Him by showing love to those around us, rather than get bitter at a world that is never going to say ‘Merry Christmas’ if they can’t believe it because they don’t see it in those of us who are supposed to believe it.
- Sorry, that got a little longer than I intended it to be.
- My folks got me a Hartman Germanium Fuzz for Christmas. My parents are hereby awesome. Actually though, both my parents are guitarists, and my dad’s a Stones fan, so I think the thought of my board without a fuzz pedal may have been just as unacceptable to them as it is to me.
- My wife got me Toms shoes. Because she is awesome. So you can thank her that you won’t have to see my Little House on the Prairie shoes in every pedal demo anymore. I used to think Toms were too trendy. And then I realized that it’s a company that actually gets you to buy shoes for people that don’t have any. I think I’ll risk being trendy.
- The family in the apartment above ours just turned on some movie with a really cool score. I’m having trouble concentrating. Watch, they’re probably just playing Halo. That stupid video game kills me to no end, because the score is just amazing! To a video game. Didn’t Hans Zimmer write it? Or maybe it’s just the commercial…I’ve never actually played Halo.
- My wife also got me THX 1138. The good version. I am the luckiest guy on earth to have a wife that knows these things. Meaning the one on VHS, because the only one released on DVD is the ‘enhanced version’ where CGI monkeys that have nothing whatsoever to do with the story, attack Robert Duvall. Seriously, I think George Lucas has now succeeded in ruining almost every good thing he ever did originally. I’m just waiting for the enhanced version of American Graffiti where Richard Dreyfuss turns out to really be a zombie and all the street racing gets CGI’d into an alien pod race with the kid from Jingle All the Way.
- Oh, and zombies are over. So are vampires. Please, somebody come up with something new. Did you know there’s a whole section at Barnes and Noble called ‘Paranormal Teen Romance’? Alright, alright…maybe I’m just bitter that I haven’t come up with anything to jump me on the bandwagon and make me rich yet. Guitar for Worship and Zombies. Nope, doesn’t work. But I’m close. Maybe I’ll just review a Vampire Weekend album and be done with it. ‘Say it.’ ‘Vampire.’ Okay, now I’m done.
- I will be selling a DD20 on Gear Page within the next few days. I will still have two on my board. I have no defense.
- I have almost made it to 2011 without having ever owned a Klon. By all practical tonehead accounts, I should be dead by now. Hey, if I can make it to 2012, it won’t matter anymore. Oh, and just for the record, after 2012 is over, I’m calling January 8, 2019 as the next end of the world. We’ll just say we can’t find the next calendar from some obscure ancient Eskimo tribe or something, and then write some books about it. I’m gonna sell T-shirts and everything. Remember, you heard it here first. Can I patent a date? Everybody panic.
- Hey! A post where I didn’t mention U2! Ah, blast.
- Pretty sure I’ve used that joke before. I’ve now graduated from just recycling Arrested Development gags to recycling my own. Apologies. Apologies, all around.
- Wow, what happened in this post? Incoherent pandemonium. Must be the rain.
- Tone Is Not in the Dogma
- Tone, Tapas, & Tape Measures (Except Not the Last Two)
- Music, Mobius, & Morgan
- Scumnico, Twin Peaks, & David Gilmour
- Give the Gift of Tone
- Boss DD20 Vs. Damage Control Timeline
- Why Tone Matters
- Best Public Service Announcement Ever
- Blindfolded Tone Part 1: The Power of the Blue LED
- Live Looping, My All-Time Favorite Pedal, & ‘I Don’t Know What to do with My Hands’