If you do not currently have a wife or girlfriend this Valentine’s Day, it can only be because you do not own one of these:

Own one of these, and you’ll instantly have a girlfriend. Tone attracts girlfriends.

Also, you can wrap it up and give it to her as a Valentine’s Day gift. Make sure it has a battery in it, and there is a cable connected to the input jack so that the blue led will be shining when she unwraps it. In fact, you may even want to cut a hole in the wrapping so that the blue led casts a romantic hue on both of you as she opens it. Not only will she be overcome by its beauty, but then you can plug it in to your board and play her beautiful tone nothings all evening. This Valentine’s Day, give her the gift she really wants……the gift of a new pedal for your board.

And for those of you girl guitarists out there, if you play the guitar and own one of these pedals? I think you’re probably already having to beat the guys off with a pointy-headstock BC Rich.

Oh, and if you already have a girlfriend or wife or boyfriend or husband and you’re reading this instead of being with them on Valentine’s Day, go do that.

Splendid.
Karl.

P.S. Yes, these original graphics Tim’s really do sound better than the current ones. I have no proof of that, and it really doesn’t make any sense electronically. But you just read it on the internet, so it must be true.