The other night we played a song in Ab. I played the first two chords in A.

If you hold to the theory that dissonance is used in music to make the consonance sound better, then I made the rest of the song sound reeeeaaaaallly good.

The key in these situations is to glare in disgust at another member of the band, hence reflecting away all the angry eyes glaring at you. In my experience, it is best to glare at the worship leader. You can’t glare at the other guitarist because he can just hit on a couple of distortion pedals and blast out his correct chords to everyone, proving himself innocent. The bass player doesn’t have any distortion pedals and hence has a harder time establishing that he was on the correct chord, but he is also usually a good deal larger than you and a little frightening. You can’t glare at the keyboardist, because since he’s the only one with any real musical knowledge in the band, he can talk himself out of anything. Drummers usually can’t defend themselves musically that well, but even the sound tech knows the drummer can’t hit a wrong chord. You could try to glare at the background vocalist, but that’s usually a woman, and hence even more frightening then the bass player. But the worship leader……he doesn’t even know what chords he’s playing half the time, so he’ll just naturally assume it was him. And if he really puts up a fight, just tell him he capo’d the wrong fret.

This will work 99% of the time. Unless you had a good deal of delay on your guitar at the time of said wrong chords. Then you’re just done.

For those of you, like me, who don’t know how to play without a good deal of delay on your guitar, may I suggest a little thing called, ‘playing the right chords.’

Splendid (and hopefully everyone is noting the playful sarcasm in this post and not taking it ultra-seriously).