Okay, so what does Chuck Norris have to do with BJFE pedals and fuzz pedal shootouts? Well, nothing really, but I am going to make a really, really ‘stretching it’ segway from BJFE pedals to Chuck Norris because I really want (no, no I have to) talk about the greatest Chuck Norris thing ever, but I just can’t bring myself to stray that far from my blog’s purpose…..which is guitar for worship. I know, I know, some of you are thinking, ‘That’s what this blog’s about?’ I do tend to have a very flighty personality, I know.
So anyway, I have been really, really into fuzz lately. I have this killer fuzz pedal in an electrical box. Some guy cloned the Dallas Arbiter Fuzz Face, stuck it in an electrical box, and sold it on e-bay years ago. I happened across it and bought it on a whim, and I have yet to hear anything sound like it. But now I want to make sure. So I’m buying up a bunch of fuzz pedals, and a shootout is coming with video clips in the near future.
(Different type of fuzz shootout. Dreadfully funny movie. I said ‘dreadfully’ because it’s British. Got caught up in the moment.)
Now I have wanted to try a BJFE pedal (especially a fuzz) for a really long time. But they are incredibly expensive, as they are only distributed for Bjorn from a European company, and the value of our US dollar is so low. But last week, with the collapse of the European market, the dollar and the euro started to even enough for me to buy a BJFE Candy Apple Fuzz without fear of losing money on it if I end up not liking it…..or if I get buyer’s remorse for how expensive one fuzz pedal is.
(Doesn’t that just scream handmade and boutique?! Who cares what it sounds like! Although they are rumored to sound very good.)
But now for the segway! See, the economy is so bad, I was able to buy a BJFE pedal. And speaking of economy…..(oooh, you didn’t think the segway was going to be that bad), the other day I’m at Barnes and Noble. In the music and films section. (Someone once told me that Barnes and Noble has books, too, but I don’t believe them.) And as I’m walking out, the political table catches my eye. Now I’m not a politics guy….in fact, I’d probably rather watch a Paul Walker movie than talk politics, which is saying a lot. (Hint: if you’re not sure how to read that last sentence, I mean that Paul Walker sucks.) But what caught my attention was the titles of the books. Everything that said ‘McCain’ in the title was bashing McCain. And everything that said ‘Obama’ in the title was bashing Obama. The books that actually talked about the candidates and what they believe/plan to do, were few and far between. Which is why I do not like politics.
Until now. Seriously…with this one title, I just know America will be back on the right track. I don’t know how to say this, without just saying it. So I’ll just say it. Chuck Norris has written a book. About politics. And it’s called just what you think it would be called: ‘Black Belt Patriotism.’ I know, it really sounds like I’m making that up. And I wish I was. But no, ‘Black Belt Patriotism’, by Walker Texas Ranger, is up for sale, right next to the ‘Obama is black!’ and ‘McCain is old!’ books.
Now if that cover does not restore your faith in the American political system….I mean seriously, who published that?
Sleep well tonight. Because Chuck Norris has a plan….and he wrote a book about it. And he definitely called it ‘Black Belt Patriotism.’ And because if you so desire, you can actually afford a BJFE pedal right now. Go buy one. Even if you end up not liking the sound, they look really cool; which is, of course, the important thing. But mostly, because Chuck Norris has a plan. Things are looking up already.