Killing the Blog
My last two posts committed two of the cardinal blogging sins: promote your own music, and alienate your target audience. So I figured…hey…why not go for the blog-killing-trifecta? So this post is going to be the third installment: a post having nothing to do with anything the blog is about. And while we’re at it, why not throw in a good dose of politics, advertising, and personal details?
- Was watching a Radiohead video on youtube, and I see in the corner an ad for a ‘featured video’ titled ‘Did Justin Bieber and Selena somebody kiss?!’ It had 48 million views. Sometimes I don’t understand…life.
- Remember Pauly Shore? Ya, me neither.
- So this blog takes a ton of my time, gets a decent amount of hits, and makes no money. Who wants to advertise? I’ll throw in a free…ya, no I won’t.
- Just had some cereal. Yep, gonna tweet that too.
- The US government just made a deal with Monsanto, the napalm-turned-food company that genetically modifies everything and then forces those who don’t, out of business by lawsuits. (Uh…allegedly. Yay for the things Gear Page has taught us!)
- Patrick Warburton is just plain the coolest.
- Canada looks pretty appealing at times. Plus, they have slurpies made from venison. (And if you get that reference, it means you grew up as a teenager in the ’90′s in a Christian home. )
- When did cartoon special effects become the accepted norm for big budget movies? Even James Franco looks fake. Oh but I forgot about the drama. He loves the monkey…but should he kill it? Does the monkey love him enough to look past the rest of the humans who only want him for experimentation? Those are the types of questions I just don’t care about.
- A child woke me up this morning by riding by our window on a skateboard. I wish I had a lawn to yell at him to get off of. And…wait for it…I am now officially an old person.
- I don’t eat cows or anything that is secreted out of them, but man, leather is cool.
- Just managed to alienate vegans and the rest of the world in one fell swoop.
- I don’t exactly know what ‘fell swoop’ means. It’s one of those phrases I’ve heard, but never really understood. Like, ‘I could care less.’ But, if you could care less, doesn’t that mean you do care? Shouldn’t it be ‘I couldn’t care less?’ Or is it, and I just say it wrong? hehe
- ‘It’s like a cow’s opinion. It’s ‘moo’.’
- I miss Bob Ross.
- I never understood ‘Where in the World is Carmen San Diego?’ I was always excited to look for her, but then always found her right away in the logo. I was a very literal child.
- If the musician thing doesn’t work out, I’ve decided to play for Netherlands in the next World Cup (sorry US), and then use the resulting fame to run for president of the US (or Netherlands…either one) when I turn 35. It’s a foolproof plan.
- I think I could do some good for this country, except that the president doesn’t really have that much real power. Which I think is good. I guess I could always pardon a bunch of folks.
- The Handbrake icon makes me happy.
- I was in Walgreens the other day, and started to look through the $3.99 movies for what I thought was Blade Runner. ‘Heat’ and ‘Blade Runner’ are like my ‘Catcher in the Rye’ from ‘Conspiracy Theory.’ Every time I see one, I have to buy it in order to feel normal. Turns out it was ‘Blades of Glory.’ Still cool, just not as much. I said so out loud, and a middle-aged gentleman looked at me with disdain and said, and I quote: “Blade Runner?! You weren’t even born when that movie came out!” I told him that I sincerely apologized for not being alive when that incredible movie was released, and for the fact that my generation has taught him that we only like movies that have ‘Fast’ and/or ‘Furious’ in the titles. Then I thanked him for not letting my receding hairline make him think I was 40. All in all, it was a good conversation.
- That’s how it happened in my head. I think in reality I just gave an obviously uncomfortable chuckle and retreated back to my wife.
- Found an RCA audio rackmount distributor in my closet. Just sold it at a garage sale, but not before wondering if putting it into my rack and powering it up so the lights turned on would make my tone look cooler.
And there you have it. Now I just need to not post for three weeks, and the blog will be officially dead.