Line 6 Verbzilla Review…Sort Of
I was all plugged in and had the camera ready to do the demo of the Line 6 Verbzilla……and then the more I played it, the more I realized how unfair it would be to do a video demo of a pedal I just absolutely cannot jive with. Now, I have no problem calling a spade a spade, and I wouldn’t mind calling the Verbzilla a bad pedal. The problem is, it’s not a bad pedal (although definitely a strong contender for worst, cheesiest, and most ‘what were they thinking’ name for a pedal ever). A lot of people get really great sounds from this pedal; and that is why I cannot call it a bad pedal. For me though, it killed my dry signal, and the reverbs sounded too digital to get real spring sounds, but not digital enough to get those cool artifact fade-outs that digital delays are famous for. Best setting was the ‘Octo’ mode, of course, which turns your guitar into a synth with very little work on your part. Or, turn down the mix a bit and you can have the synth effect ‘behind’ everything you play. I thought the idea behind this genius. I know of precious few pedals that will give you both the octave up and reverb at the same time. Huge props to Line 6. However, I felt the execution to be lacking. And it’s not just a boutique effect thing. I tried the Boss PS5 into the Boss RV5 and liked it better. (*Gasp!* I know, absolute heresy.) I tried the Line 6 live for a practice, but ended up taking it off my board for the service. It did seem to react better on my acoustic. Maybe the dryer tone of the acoustic fits better into coldly digital effects. I know I do like my delays much colder and dryer on the acoustic.
But here’s the thing…I do not want to do an entire post on the Line 6 Verbzilla review because of one very simple reason: fear. I’ve already weathered my fair share of…I’ll be nice and just call them ‘differing opinions’…because of my less than stellar review of the beloved Digitech Bad Monkey. So I can only guess what this review of the cherished provider of the famous U2 shimmer effect is going to get me. And I suppose I could preface it all with saying that ‘I could be wrong.’ That approach, though, hasn’t seemed to work with the Bad Monkey. So I figure I’ll do just that quick, unfortunate, and somewhat poor review of the Line 6 Verbzilla, thereby retaining this blog’s objectivity; but then say something really quick that’s totally off of the subject, but so incredibly…um…frightening, that no one will ever remember the poor review of the Verbzilla. Thereby sidestepping all of the nasty side effects of the afore-mentioned objectivity.
So here it goes. Be prepared to forget all about the Verbzilla review. In looking at what keyword searches have brought people to this blog, and sifting through the usual ‘effects’, ‘tone sucking’, tube versus solid state’, and ‘which blog’s author is better than the Edge’ (okay I made that one up), I ran across: ‘Orlando Bloom with his shirt off.’
Now, let it be known, first and foremost, that Orlando Bloom has never appeared on this blog in any other form than for me to poke fun at his unique brand of ‘constant surprise’ acting. Let alone Orlando in any form less than fully clothed. In fact, I believe in my heart of hearts that Orlando Bloom only exists in the ‘clothed’ state. Start to go one step towards the more naked side of ‘fully clothed’, and Orlando ceases to exist. How do I know this? Because the alternative is unthinkable.
(This is Orlando, appearing in the proper amount of clothes. Also, showing his ‘concerned’ face.)
Nevertheless, there has been at least one person in the world who has viewed this blog from searching for ‘Orlando Bloom with no shirt on.’
Close runner-ups were ‘Tom Cruise with a monkey’, and, I quote, ‘Crapest pedalboard ever.’ So I guess I got that going for me. Ya. Rockstar. Guess it serves me right for giving the Verbzilla a bad review.
Splendid. (If you cut out the whole part about the Line 6 pedal and the Orlando Bloom with less clothing than I care to think about part.)
P.S. Oh, and I know there’s a bunch of you out there who dig the Verbzilla and get great tone out of it. Just don’t think of the review……think of Orlando with his shirt off…wait, that’s not going to work either. Okay. Just please accept my apologies and prove me wrong with some stellar demos! And of course, I’m sure I’ve got some gear that you can’t stand, either. hehe